His Achilles' heel
by H. Lokidottir
Summary: Loki thought he understood memory and loss. He was sadly mistaken. After all, it's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone. FrostIron
1. His Achilles' heel

This happens when I drink coffee after dusk. I blame A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints as well. My first attempt at Loki/Tony. Hope it isn't too bad.

I want to dedicate this to my darlings Anthony E. Stark and Tony's Loki. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own these Marvel characters. But damn I wish I did.

His Achilles' heel

Insanity. All of this had been insanity, and yet… he could still sense that strange thing he never felt before, and never will. That strange little thing that gave him the sensation of an icy dagger sinking into the depths of his soul. Always likely to put him in such indescribable state. Is this what they call feelings? He couldn't stand it, couldn't stand every time it happened, the weakness that had seized him. For the simplest of reasons. It was plain weakness...No; he was most certainly not weak. He didn't feel. He was Loki Laufeyson, after all. But yet, memories repeated themselves in his head; playing again and again. Memories somehow delicate, as pleasing as a dream, never failing to leave him bitter. The simple thought of not having the control over what happened to him had nearly driven him mad. He couldn't prevent his warm brown eyes, his smile, and his tanned skin from making unwanted appearances in his mind.

Anyone who had known Loki would have been shocked and unable to guess that he could actually feel these kinds of things. Even the little he knew concerning feelings was radically different. This jealousy, for example. It was different from the one he had known as a young child, the one that made him manipulate the people around him. The one that earned him the title Silvertongue. No, this jealousy had no easy recourse, no way in which he could become the master strictly speaking.

He may have been more powerful; stronger than him, but he was the one who seemed to dominate the situation. Oh how he had hated it. He didn't have the power. More than that, he seethed at the red-haired wench who paraded around with him. This insignificant woman who without a doubt had no idea of the real worth of the man she had once kissed and embraced...

The slightest physical contact that Loki had witnessed gave him nausea and without wanting it, he let jealousy take control of his being. He allowed himself to close his eyes a moment, to seek refuge in his memory. He could still smell his scent, could still feel the taste of lips. He could still see his gaze, could still sense his determination and the power that emanated from him. He remembered the very moments he had spent with him, moments which would be impossible to forget. He had wanted him, in every way he could want someone.

Lost in his thinking, he didn't realize that he was staring at him intensely. Tony Stark had approached and he was now alone with him, alone with him and this attraction, tension and other turbulent emotions that seemed to fill the empty room. He took a step towards him, his gaze unwavering.

"Three words, Loki. Three words; eight letters. Did you love me, ever? I gotta know. C'mon, lie and tell me you did, make me feel like the piece of shit I am. Did you love me or not?! Answer me!"

He had never been able to say those three words, and never admitted that he wanted to. Never admitted that he almost said it, although he was unable to do so. He closed his heart to all emotion when he lost the only thing he had ever cared for, the only thing he ever truly loved. The pain did not feel real at first. But when it did, it took Loki's breath away.


	2. Pep Talk

**This is a companion to **_**His Achilles' heel **_**that Tony's-Loki and I came up with. She can have twelve per cent of the credit. But an argument can be made for fifteen…**

**If Pepper or Tony seem terribly OOC; so sorry, I did my best. **

**So it's something like this: Pepper and Tony decide they're better off at being friends. Tony and Loki have an affair. Pepper finds out or Tony tells her. It doesn't matter. Pepper doesn't approve but respects Tony's decision. Loki and Pepper don't like each other one bit, but are civil to each other for Tony's sake. **

**Then the events in **_**His Achilles' heel**_** occur; Tony and Loki have a fight about their feelings. Loki leaves without declaring his love; never to return…**

The sound of heels on the marble floor was the tale-tell of Pepper's arrival. Pepper saw Tony in a couch with a Scotch in his hand and was about to make a remark about alcohol and '_it's 8:00 AM in the morning_' when she took a good look of his face.

"Tony, what's wrong?" The sweet, gentle and _caring_ voice of Pepper Potts was rarely heard due to Tony's antics. Right now, it was clear for her that Tony didn't wish for company.

"I don't know what you're talking about Pep", he murmured.

"Oh, don't you go there with me, Tony Stark", she warned, firmly and softly at the same time. Suddenly realization dawned on her face. "Oh, no. It's about _him,_ isn't it?"

Pepper took a seat next to Tony at the couch. She smiled weakly. "I'm here if you need to talk about it…"

Tony swallowed and sighed all at once, close to tears, and Pepper realized it was more serious than she could have expected.

"Why am I always so _stupid_?" Tony let out in an upset whisper. "Why must I always complicate things? I don't- I don't want to love him, and there's no way he loves me back. He _left me, _Pep. And I know in my heart… that he's not coming back."

"Don't be like that, Tony", Pepper said trying to sound supportive, but Tony snorted doubtfully. "This isn't your fault, and as much as I don't understand what you see in him, I'm still convinced that you're wrong: I think he does feel the same about you-"

"Pepper, stop it", Tony interrupted. "Really, it's not helping when I know you're saying this only to make me feel better."

"I have seen the way he looks at you; the way he smiles when he spots you walking towards him. And don't you dare say otherwise! If anyone deserves to be loved and happy, then it's you." Pepper said sincerely.

Tony smiled slightly only to let her know that he was grateful for her words, however unreasonable he found them to be. There was no denying it anymore: he had fallen for Loki Laufeyson– fallen hard and past the point of no return. Fate apparently enjoyed being particularly cruel to him…

"Oh, Tony", Pepper said pityingly while putting an arm around him to hold him comfortingly. This very scenario was the reason why she was never fully supportive of their relationship. "I still believe that he loves you back, Tony. One way or another I know-"

"It's okay, Pep", Tony interrupted remorsefully – albeit still very grateful for his friend's attempt at making him feel better – "but this time… there's really nothing left to be said or done."

They sat in silence. And that point, Pepper simply ran out of words to say.


End file.
